The opening scene of today’s game.

Wizard: I am going to check out the scroll we looted from Pim the Exploder

Me: Where are you doing this at?

Wizard: In the tavern chilling out with an ale.

Me: You’re in the tavern?

Wizard: Yes.

Me: Is the rest of the party there?

The rest of party: “I’m there but not at the same table as him.”

Me: Eh, I think I’m going to rule that that you all would have been sitting with him since he is checking out something you asked him to check out.

At this point, the body language at the table tells me everybody knows something is up. I should point out that this scroll detected as magic previously, was looted from the wizard locked, mechanically locked, heavy oak chest with iron reinforcement. The chest was the property of a wizard who called himself Pim the Invoker but was known by the locals as Pim the Exploder due to his enjoyment of explosions and the fireball spell. The list of spells in Pim’s spell book was sitting in front of the player and Exploding Runes was on that list. Lots of clues, and no one spoke up, so fair game.  

Me: OK, so you are in the tavern having a pint and you pull out the scroll and start reading it. Is that right?

Wizard: Yes.

Me: (roll 4d6)  Wizard you take 15 points from the explosive runes. Everyone else make a save for half damage. (roll a dice) The patrons at table behind the wizard are caught in the blast. (roll a couple saves) One is dead, two are severely injured.   (I hold up both hands) I’ve been waiting weeks for someone to read that parchment!  

Wizard: Pim striking out from the grave.

The wizard went down. I use a death and dismemberment table and it turns out he has a traumatic brain injury and lost three points of intelligence. The party unsuccessfully attempts to aid the wizard and have to go the healer, who the dice tells us happened to be nearby tending to a sick shopkeeper. So the wizard survived, barely, and had to drop some significant amount of coin to get a spell to restore his brain.  The party was required to pay reparations to the victims and the tavern owner.  They were, needless to say, told to leave the bar and not to come back.