A phrase frequently stated by writing teachers is, “Show. Don’t Tell.” This applies equally to game masters. If you want to get your players on the edge of their seats, your location descriptions need to “show” the players what their characters see. Do not “tell” them what to think or how they should feel about it. If your description “shows” then the players will tell you what their response is.

Here’s the difference between telling and showing.

Telling:

“You walk down the old road.”

Showing:

“As you walk down the road, you see that the cobbles have weeds and grass growing up between the quarried stones. Some sections of the road have heaved up from frost, and other parts have been washed out by flood waters of a nearby creek.”

Notice in the “showing” example, I used very few adjectives. If you describe the walk in that way the player will figure out for themselves that the road is old, abandoned and potentially dangerous. Because you’d described the specific elements of the road, they may decide to do something like pry up a stone and stick it in their bag. Next thing you know, they drop that stone down a crevasse in the dungeon.

I dislike it when a game master tells me how my character feels about something. Maybe this character isn’t freaked out by spiders but hates snakes. If you describe spider webs, no big deal. If you describe the sloughed off skin of a giant snake, the character gets the willies.

“This place is spooky,” is a way that game masters describe what a character thinks about something. You are telling the player, “Your character had decided that this place is spooky.” You can describe the sort of psychic imprint of a place, if that is appropriate to the game and genre but I would avoid it if at all possible. I let players decide what their character thinks or feels about something.

If you want the players to decide that the cabin in the woods is spooky don’t say, “The cabin is spooky.”

Instead, try something like:

“The forest gives way to a barren meadow. In the meadow is a single dead tree and a cabin. Only the trunk and a single branch of the tree remains. On the branch is a frayed rope. Below the branch, toppled over among the rampant weeds, is a weathered and rotting stool with one broken leg. The cabin has a decaying porch covered in dirt, dry leaves, and the bones of a small animal scattered over the boards. The windows are broken out and the door hangs by one of its hinges. No light comes from the windows. There’s dried blood and scratches in the rotting wood directly in front of the door. Someone has drawn symbols above the door in blood.”

After you give that description, one of your players will almost certainly say, “That’s spooky.” or “I have a bad feeling about this place.”

Letting your players decide is far more powerful than telling them “this is old” or “this is spooky” or “this is weird.” When they say, “That’s weird.” It feels like, to them, they’ve figured something out for themselves and the player will be more immersed in the situation.